Sunday, July 25, 2010

Loose Id Author April Morelock HIJACKS my blog!

For Jeanne:

Shhhh… hehehehehe… she doesn’t know. Infiltration complete. Jeanne suspects NOTHING. Whooohooo!!!!

Um… No, Jeanne. No one here. I’m just watching the site to make sure no rogue authors butt in on your blog and take it over. Uh, hugh… okay. See you later Jeanne.

YESS!!!! I have complete control now. Mission accomplished.

Now I can talk about something truly heinous and wrong with society today. This is highly controversial topic, not many people can handle it - men definitely won’t talk about it.

I’m talking about the new rape prevention condom! (HA, you thought it would be something really political and weird like someone congratulating BP on their inability to clean up their mess… or something racy like the National Enquirer headline with the groundbreaking report on the latest Obama Gay Sex Scandal which I’m sure is completely true - HA….NOT)

Nope I’m talking about those new condoms that will grip with razor sharp rubber any penis that even thinks of entering the wearers vagina. Not the stuff of romance that’s for sure.

Now certainly I’m in the camp of the condom cutting the moron’s penis BEFORE it ever enters the woman (whereby it irrevocably tears her world apart) but no… I’m not talking about that controversy. If a woman wants to physically harm the m*&ther f^&(*#$, I’m good with that.

No the travesty in this is that we’ve figured out how to basically eviscerate a man’s penis but we can’t figure out something that will fit on a man and ensure he hit’s the g-spot on a woman with each stroke. I mean … really. I would love a device that I can slip inside. I’m fully protected to have sex with any hot biker dude in leather and chains without the fear of STDS AND finally obtain the pleasure that every woman deserves without having to deal with premature ejaculation.

I mean the woman that invented this “device” has a great idea but she just needs to expand the selection a bit more --- there could be the Loraina Bobbit model for those days when you just want revenge ….

A G-Spot special for those days when you just have to maximize your pleasure…

And then the Saturday night special when you’re just not in the mood and you need it over with so you can get some rest because the kiddies have run you ragged.

What are your thoughts? What kind of specialized woman’s condom would you want?

Stop back tomorrow to read April's interview. Come meet her more "in-depth!" And keep an eye out for her new release on Tuesday at Loose Id: Best Little Spin Wash in Texas. She will be sharing the blurb and an excerpt, as well as GIVING AWAY a copy of her new release!

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