13 Crazy-assed Texts from Last Night
I laugh my ass off every time I visit this site http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/. Sometimes I laugh so hard that I cry. People submit texts that they received to this website. I’ve decided (with tissues in hand) to go through and pick out some good ones to share for my Thursday Thirteen. I hope you “appreciate” them as much as I do
By the way, the number is parenthesis before the text is the area code from where it was submitted. And on one last note, I have not altered any of these, so the misspellings and grammar issues, etc., are all the fault of the texters!
1. (660) He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
2. (614) just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
3. (304) tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
4. (919) so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
5. (847) i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
6. (541) my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
7. (717) hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
8. (440) The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
9. (857) seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
10. (516) im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
11. (512) i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
12. (281) How do you jack off and text at the same time?
(1-281): On my iPhone they have an app for that
13. (434) why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
(540) you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
These are a few I found entertaining, but there are many, many more. Have you ever gotten an unbelievable text? If so, share!
NOW, if you haven't had enough Crazy assed texts, head on over to the Romance Writers Behaving Badly blog, where I do part two of this list! Click here.
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others’ comments. It’s easy, and fun!
Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted! View More Thursday Thirteen Participants